The big day has finally arrived, and oh, but it is spooky outside. Spookier, even, than you imagined even in your darkest nightmares: It is wet, it is windy, it is the kind of damp that winds its maniac tentacles through the loose threads of your mummy costume and creeps inside your marrow. Happy Halloween, you monsters, The Weather is serving only tricks today.

As you will be aware, the situation outside is dark and stormy, like you've basically been trapped inside the spooky squash and are now fermenting inside its guts. The National Weather Service projects balmy temps that will claw their way from roughly 68 degrees (at present) to a fully unseasonable 72 degrees by 3 p.m. "All the better to flaunt my Sexy Chicken Sandwich getup" you may be thinking, but no! Just no. The winds may be blowing at a measly 12 mph (which barely resonates on my favorite scale, the Beaufort Scale, as a gentle breeze: "wind felt on face, leaves rustle, vanes begin to move") right now, but hold onto your gourd heads because things look poised to pick up — and soon.

The wind may get progressively friskier until 3 p.m., which you may as well consider today's witching hour, because that's when this meteorological cauldron could hit full boil. Gusts may howl by at 28 mph beginning mid-afternoon, sounding exactly like a thousand ghosts whistling around inside your skull, growing ever stronger as they feed on your vital energy. By midnight, 41 mph gales will play haunted hackysack with your crumpled husk, kicking you around as if you were just dead leaves, and that's not even the worst of it!

No, from a purely practical perspective, the worst comes this afternoon, in the form of heavy rains. The seasoned Halloweenies among you know that, in order to really enjoy the Village Halloween Parade, you're going to need to stake out spots in advance of the 7 p.m. start time (more on that here). Unfortunately for you, the scattered showers we're currently experiencing look likely to condense into a deluge around noon. And! The sky will remain a festive shade of tombstone all day long, how's that for spooky ambiance?

We may enjoy a brief break around 6 p.m., if you believe AccuWeather's report; otherwise, it looks like a more-or-less sustained downpour until roughly 8 p.m. At that point, The Weather might just take a little disco nap, rising from its coffin like a vampire around 11 p.m. to really light up the night. Look out for thunderstorms and lightning bolts, which promise only to enhance the evening's haunted house vibe.

November kicks off tomorrow with temps in the mid-50s and clear, sunny skies. For now, though, let Spook Season's death rattle wash over you. Honestly, its costume is perfect.