Bitching about bad/slow pedestrians is a New York tradition that dates all the way back to when it was New Amsterdam (you can't imagine the kind of language that peg-legged Peter Stuyvesant would use if you walked by his Bouwerij too slowly!). But with all the hubbub about bike lanes this summer the important issue of complaining about how other people walk (and the Sidewalk Rage it causes) seem to have been left aside. Until now.

In an editorial for the Daily News, former MTA director of planning and current real estate VP Robert Selsam takes last year's genius Improv Everywhere "Tourist Lane" idea and expands it into a tongue-in-cheek Pedestrian Code Of Conduct. And it isn't bad. Selsem's rules would make most New Yorkers smile with recognition and includes fines for those who insist on zigzagging, walking three abreast, going too slow (slow being below 3 mph), bumping into people while using an electronic device and standing for more than one light change at a crosswalk. He also actively pushes for tourist and New Yorker lanes in certain areas.

All well and funny enough, but we fear that Selsam has neglected some very important issues facing the urban pedestrian that need to be addressed. Like, what about umbrellas? Can there be a fine for people who use golf umbrellas that take up half a sidewalk and then hold them down so low that it seems like they are trying to blind every other person? And what about shopping carts and their far more insidious cousins the stroller? Can we start "fining" reckless stroller pushers? Those are our biggies, what other important pedestrian rules do we need to have codified?