Let's get this Friday started right, let's get this Friday started quickly: For too long New Yorkers have chafed under the boot of spandex hipster fixie cyclists and their ironic tote bags, and now, finally, the NYPD is riding to the rescue. The NY Post, of all rags, is running buck wild with a story of a woman who was issued a summons for riding her bike on Columbus Avenue with a tote bag hanging on the handlebars. And the Post, which has published countless cartoonish anti-cyclist rants, is suddenly shocked that police would ever do such an absurd thing!
Claire Lecomte du Nouy, 38, the dean of students at the exclusive Nightingale-Bamford School on East 92nd Street, was biking on Columbus on Monday afternoon "to pick up her 4-year-old daughter at nursery school" when she was stopped by a police officer at West 100th Street.
"He said, 'Could you get off your bike please?' " she told the Post.
"I said, 'Why?' He said, 'You're not allowed to carry a purse on your handlebars.' I thought he was joking."
"He gets out his little notepad and starts writing things down," she said. "Then I realized he's writing a ticket. I still thought it was a joke."
It is a joke, Claire, and it never gets old. She was issued a summons for "carrying articles on bicycle," which is a huge "quality of life" crime that we applaud the NYPD for enforcing. Broken windows, people! If we allow scofflaws like du Nouy to get away with this kind of degeneracy, the whole city will go to hell—we don't want to turn into Chappaqua, where punks start selling cupcakes in the park.
But apparently tree-hugging NYPD spokesman Paul Browne doesn't see this tote bag menace as a priority, and tells the Post the summons should not have been issued. "A summons may be issued . . . if a cyclist is transporting a bundle or package in such a way that it prevents him/her from keeping at least one hand on the handlebar," Browne explains. Du Nouy insists she had both hands on the handlebars, but who are you gonna believe, a spandex Nazi cyclist hipster, or the NYPD?
Shockingly, even the cop-friendly message board NYPD Rant is turning against this hero cop, with one commenter writing, "There's only one thing to do, (assuming her story is true, of course) and fire this alleged cop, you heard me, FIRE his ass! Maybe that will convince some of these goofballs that they embarrass us all, past and present, and should find another line of work. " Thankfully, commenter "Kopinnyc" is also online to call for sanity, replying with, "C'mon Louie, you gotta reduce the morning caffeine intake." [Via Pat's Papers]