It's a classic tale of man versus wild his own sinuses: An 81-year-old Connecticut man had been staking out his back door for days, waiting to kill a meddlesome raccoon that had taken to filing its nails on his property.

So James Pace Sr. did what any self-respecting outdoorsman would do: On Saturday, he loaded his .22 caliber rifle and waited, planning to blast the animal into bits the moment he got the chance. But perhaps Pace Sr. was also allergic to the critter, because he sneezed with such force that he tumbled from his chair, unloading a bullet into his own shin. His son took him to New Haven Hospital, where he was treated and released. While the wound itself will heal, the Acute Mortification that surely accompanies the incident may prove fatal.

The moral of this tale seems to be that a .22 caliber rifle might be considered excessive force against a creature that weighs less than a child's bowling ball, but then again: Kill them before they ruin your Instagram first?