Governor Andrew Cuomo revealed his true identity as a radical bike lane terrorist determined to establish a cyclist caliphate in Albany yesterday, issuing a press release announcing that he will sign legislation requiring state and local transportation agencies to consider “complete streets" that safely accommodate all pedestrians, motorists and cyclists." The fatwa, which will no doubt enrage infidels like CBS 2 reporter Marcia Kramer and NY Post columnist Steve Cuozzo, is ostensibly intended to "make streets and roadways across the state safe and accessible to all New Yorkers." But what's this really about?

As Cuozzo and Kramer will surely explain in greater detail in the coming days, Cuomo's real agenda is to exile drivers to Pennsylvania as he turns every road in the state into bike-pedestrian free love pastures policed by car-hating Mutaween who round up anyone not wearing devout spandex-clad attire. Of course, Cuomo won't come right out and say that—he'll make anodyne promises to "promote a cleaner, greener transportation system with reduced traffic congestion and the resultant air pollution. Design features may include sidewalks, bicycle lanes, crosswalks, pedestrian control signalization, bus pull outs, curb cuts, raised crosswalks, ramps, and traffic calming measures."

Any project overseen by the State DOT or that receives state and federal funding will be required to take these design principles into account, Channel 9 in Syracuse reports. But as we've seen firsthand in NYC, once these streets start becoming "complete," you'll see less speeding, fewer pedestrian and cyclist accidents, plus cats and dogs living together in pedestrian plazas. Is any of that worth the price paid by poor, embattled drivers, who'll be forced to share some of the road and maybe slow down? Freedom to hog the road is on the run in the Empire State, people!