Behold another nightmare omitted from Gothamist's list of common NYC fears: this puddle of undetermined depths threatening to drown you en route to work. Yesterday tipster Derf Rekab alerted us to the murky dangers faced by thousands of Brooklyn commuters due to all the damn rain over the past few days. Rekab, if that even is his real name, tells us, "It's been around for two days; about 4 inches at the shallowest. To walk around is at least 5 minutes..."
FIVE MINUTES. That's at least a month in Important New Yorker time. Where the hell are the police barricade pontoon bridges? All week, desperate commuters using the Fort Hamilton Parkway stop on the F and G lines have been reduced to living like spider monkeys, clambering along a narrow, treacherous ledge mere inches from a bottomless lagoon crawling with crocodiles and electric eels.
It's only a matter of time before some hipster ties a rope swing to that overpass and turns this into an ironic swimming hole. We can't let that happen. Fortunately, DNAinfo NY managing editor Michael P. Ventura is getting results.
— Brad Lander (@bradlander) June 2, 2015
This is like the time I tweeted at Netflix to ask WHY Miami Vice S1:E23 "Evan" wasn't streaming on Netflix, when all the other "Vice" episodes were, and Netflix eventually promised to look into it. (You're welcome.)
DNAinfo subsequently reported that the infamous "Lake Kensington" has "persisted for at least a decade without resolution." TEN YEARS. Pretty incredible,
considering de Blasio ran for mayor on a promise to drain Lake Kensington and use the water to irrigate rooftop farming on the Brooklyn Grange. De Blasio must resign.