College admissions officers at some of the country's most elite schools are sick and tired of slogging through long-winded personal essays from applicants, so they're capping them at 500 words. Because, really, no one wants to read four pages about your meaningful time volunteering with the crippled ferrets at the animal shelter in BuFu, Ohio.

After four years of unlimited space for essays, the administrators behind the Common Application, which is used by schools like Brown and Yale, are strongly encouraging students to keep things to 500 words. The online application won't actually physically stop Johnny Overachiever from writing more, but, as Jeffrey Brenzel, dean of undergraduate admissions at Yale, told the Times, “if they go over the limit, the stakes go up.”

Students are, unsurprisingly, kind of freaking out over adults capping their creativity: “I just had to chop down all the emotion,” sniffed one Hunter College High student, who wrote a long-winded essay about "coping with a brother's attention deficit disorder." Another senior sliced his essay about "democracy and family" from nearly 900 words down to what he calls "a 500-word haiku," which you just know he's going to reiterate at the Young Republicans mixer next fall.