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This is a report we'd love to get our hands on: The Post reveals details from a 44-page City Council report about crimes in the city's biggest parks. And it turns out that Riverside Park leads all parks, with 36 major crimes reported during the spring and summer; Flushing Meadows Park had 35 crimes, and Prospect Park was number three, with 25 major crimes. Central Park was not included "because it is its own precinct and crime figures have long been available for the park."

Most of the crimes in Riverside Park during that period were robberies. Many people interviewed by the Post say that the southern part of the park is much safer, but even some trails and paths in the southern part are bit secluded. Back in October, the issue of the difference in park maintenance in the northern and southern parts of Riverside Park came up in a NY Times article. And Flushing Meadows Park is where a group of teens robbed, beat, and killed park goers late last year.

The Post reports that City Councilmen Peter Vallone and Joseph Addabbo had to pass a law in order to get the crime-in-the-parks information from the NYPD. Vallone said, "It's important for people to know whether parks are safe or not."

And per duh's comment, here we go:

KRAMER: Oh no, no,. no. I had to fish around in the evidence room for it. You know, they're all preoccupied, trying to hunt down this new psycho-serial killer, the Lopper. All right, I'll see ya.

ELAINE: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Who is the Lopper?

KRAMER: Oh, it's no big deal. It's just some guy who's been running around Riverside park-pffff. You know, cutting people's heads off.

JERRY: How come I haven't read about this?

KRAMER: Well, you know, the police, they've been having some internal dissension about the name.

ELAINE: Really? What're the other titles?

KRAMER: Uh, Headso...uh...The Denogginizer...Son of dad.

JERRY: Son of dad?

KRAMER: Yeah. That was my suggestion. It's sort of a catchall.

From The Frogger episode of Seinfeld.

Photograph of a bucolic stretch of Riverside Park by FSLN on Flickr