New Jersey Governor Chris Christie helped embattled Republican candidate Mitt "Crackers And Water, Thanks" Romney raise over $1 million at a fundraiser in Parsippany last night. But isn't Christie concerned with being associated with someone who'll be kissing Gingrich's Tiffany's ring come summertime? "If I were concerned about Newt Gingrich, I’d have had to be concerned about Herman Cain, Michelle Bachmann, and Rick Perry, all of whom held similar leads to the leads speaker Gingrich holds now over Gov. Romney in various states." Forgetting someone?

According to the Star-Ledger, tickets to the even started at $500, but presumably Romney would have gone "double or nothing" for admission had a supporter offered to. Romney's cash infusion comes as opposition researcher Alex Kaczynski unearths a video today of Romney telling a reporter in 2002 that his "views are progressive."

Naturally, Rick Perry, who is branding himself as the delicious, bigoted alternative to Progressive, has already attacked Romney for his comments.

“It’s no surprise that Mitt Romney would have described himself as having progressive views: A quick look at his record shows that he pursued plenty of progressive policies as governor, including notably raising business taxes, the individual mandate to purchase health insurance and global warming policies. In fact, Mr. Romney and Speaker Gingrich share progressive policies on government mandated health insurance and climate change. Only Governor Perry, who is an outsider to Washington and the establishment, has the consistently conservative record on fiscal and social issues that GOP voters want.”

That's right people: accept no juvenile-killing, patronage-addicted, homophobic substitutes.