Why pay a fortune to have a professional dog groomer shampoo your four-legged beast when Central Park is already filled with dozens of little sinks, perfectly adapted for scrubbing your pet's anus? Like petite puppy bidets, the push of a button sends a cool burst of water arcing upward—you may have seen other park goers use the stream for their mouths to quench their thirst on a hot day! But you will use them to scrape fecal matter from your dog's matted butt fur.

Emily Leisz Carr witnessed the above appalling scene on Tuesday evening, near the park's softball fields. There were actually two dogs present, the other of which was left to drag its leash listlessly about while its owner set to the task of deep cleaning its pal's rectum. (Asked whether she was washing the whole dog, Carr specified that it was distinctly "butt oriented.") It wasn't until another dog owner approached the woman, several minutes into her session, to yell at her about "hygiene" and "human people put their faces there" that she seemed to realize her behavior was in any way questionable.

Carr said The Washer appeared nonplussed, assuring the woman that it was "OK" and that she would "clean it up." She scoured on for another few minutes—it's tough to tell from the photo and iPhone video as to how much of the dog was actually left by the time she finished—before finally removing the animal from the basin.

She returned, as promised, around 10 minutes later with what Carr described as a "balled up plastic bag," which she used to whisk over the drinking fountain. DON'T WORRY IT'S CLEAN NOW, NO LEFTOVER POOP OR DOG BUTT SKIN AT ALL. For a person with such thorough commitment to pet-wiping, it seems strange how quickly her zeal seemed to fade when it came to detoxifying the drinking fountain. Maybe her arm was tired.

Carr, who was with a crew shooting a documentary on New Yorker cartoonists, said the woman even agreed to sign a release, meaning the incident could make it into the film. She added that a parched passerby, not privy to the earlier incident, arrived shortly after and approached the fountain, leaning toward the spigot, mouth puckered in anticipation. "No don't drink that!" Carr said, saving him from a mouthful of fecal coliforms. One has been spared, but how many others have bent to drink, unaware? Then again, it doesn't matter how many animal rears have bathed in the cooling waters. You're still better off licking a toilet bowl.