Unlike the ass-averse Gray Lady, we prefer to embrace the full descriptive capabilities of our fine fucking language—to paraphrase Outkast, you may want to think your shit don't stank, but you aren't laying any roses there. There are a lot of people who disagree, especially when it comes to teens—but for one Catholic high school in NJ, only the girls are forced to take a no cursing pledge, because in their hearts it is still 1952, and “We want ladies to act like ladies.”

According to North Jersey, the civility campaign was launched at Queen of Peace High School in North Arlington by teacher Lori Flynn; she was backed by principal Brother Larry Lavallee, who defended the campaign by saying the female students have the foulest language.

And hey, the boys are totally down with the initiative: “It’s unattractive when girls have potty mouths,” said 16-year-old Nicholas Recarte, who admitted he cursed a lot while playing baseball, and didn’t expect that to change. While the girls had to publicly swear not to swear, 17-year-old Bobby Keegan promised to "cut down a little," because he is "respectful and chivalrous."

But he probably won't, because nobody ever does: psychologist Timothy Jay, a professor at Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts and author of “Why We Curse,” said that men are typically more profane than women. More importantly: “These programs NEVER work.” Unless you think this is working.

It's fine and normal for high schools, whether public or private, to have a code of ethics and standards about language and decorum—regardless of whether these teens grow up to be salty journalists, curse-friendly musicians, or this guy. But it's ridiculous, unethical, and backwards to hold boys and girls to different standards on bad behavior. At the end of the day, we would much rather have another Susie Essman in this world than not: