Move over rabid raccoons, there's a new four-legged fiend terrorizing Brooklynites! After we mentioned a opossum sighting in Cobble Hill yesterday, Courier-Life has found out that opossums have been attacking the borough's gardens, dogs, and teenage girls!
Community Board 11 member Marnee Elias-Pavia's 13-year-old daughter nearly ran into oncoming traffic after spotting the animals's terrifyingly large nose in Dyker Heights. Wild opossums have also been spotted in Prospect Park, Bay Ridge, and Fort Hamilton; a Coney Island councilmember blames the city for the growing population, saying that when a rat problem took over Marine Park and Gerritsen Beach they brought in opossums to take care of them. Now in some sick Stephen King-eque twist, the population has grown even though they weren't supposed to be able to reproduce—and as one expert says, their pregnancies are quick "like a bowel movement."
So are we headed towards an opossum takeover? Probably! These nocturnal animals are killing machines—one gardener in Carroll Park says she found dead pigeons and mutilated squirrel bodies* scattered about recently. And once they get infected with The Rabies, not even Will Smith will be able to save us.