A Brooklyn man has been accused of calling a video hotline for deaf people over 4,000 times for the sole purpose of playing pocket pool peek-a-boo with his one-eyed snake named Henry Longfellow (He was masturbating).
According to the Post, Florida-based company ZVRS has filed a lawsuit against Brooklyn resident David Marcano (who is not deaf) for his incessant and onanistic misuse of their software. ZVRS's program allows the hearing-disabled to call one of their sign-language interpreters via video chat; the interpreters then act as virtual operators, placing and translating calls on behalf of the deaf person.
Unfortunately, the 51-year-old Marcano apparently was taking advantage of the service for much more hedonistic purposes. In the suit, the company says Marcano made 4,646 calls to ZVRS since January 1st "for the sole purpose of masturbating in view of ZVRS’s employees."
"In every call made through ZVRS’s software platform, Marcano appears on the video call for the purpose of exposing his genitals or masturbating to ZVRS’s female staff," the suit reads. Every time the company cancelled his account, Marcano just started another one under a slightly different alias, including the ingenious noms de plume "Davey Mareno," "Davey Mar," "Dave Maccan," "Dave Mard" and "Dave Macan." He ended up using 24 different emails in all.
The company gets federal money every time a deaf person uses its product to place a call, so in theory, they could have considered Marcano's 4,646 deposits to his personal wank bank a substantial donation to their bank. Regardless, they're seeking an injunction against Marcano to stop using their product. They should also consider throwing in a free tutorial on web 101, since Marcano seems unfamiliar with the more acceptable ways of masturbating in front of strangers on the internet.