Residents of 60 Remsen Street have won a small but important victory in the War On
Citi Bike, successfully lobbying to have the rack that was originally placed outside their 83-unit apartment complex banished down the block, where the kiosks will never threaten them or their loved ones again.
"It logistically didn't fit," a source with knowledge of The Battle of the Bike told the Daily News. "(The street) was too small for when the bikes were going to come in."
The offending rack was moved around the corner to Hicks Street north of Remsen, where, presumably, it will go on to annoy the residents of that block, creating a Russian nesting doll of endless Citi Bike rage that will eventually culminate in a Gangs of New York-style bloodbath, with bright blue bikes being burned on pyres and ragged, bug-eyed orphans rummaging through piles of trash.
Anyway, Citi Bike yesterday hit its 10,000 member mark, meaning not everyone views the program as a terrorist cell. D-Day is set for May 27th, so make sure your bunker is secure and your beer-flavored water is cold.