A Bronx woman has admitted to stuffing her dead 73-year-old roommate, whose death she claims to have nothing to do with, in a suitcase because she was scared. Either Monica Exum isn't telling the truth, or she must have some pretty lousy friends: "My friend told me if someone dies in your apartment you go to jail, so I got really afraid. I didn't know what to do," Exum told cops.

Exum, 36, says she found her older roommate Johnny Davis dead in their Fish Avenue apartment on May 31st. She then took the suitcase down three flights of stairs to the porch of an abandoned house at 1309 Needham Avenue in Williamsbridge. She wrote "rest in peace" on a strip of cardboard and left it atop the luggage, which sat there for nearly three months before a neighbor called the cops to investigate the suspicious bag last Sunday.

One law-enforcement official, who apparently thinks he's Bob Hope, summed up the situation as "like a bad Samsonite commercial." The medical examiner will conduct an autopsy to determine the cause of death, and Exum is currently being held and charged with improper body removal. As bad a method of body removal as that was, at least Exum didn't pull a Weekend At Bernie's.