Brighton Beach is blanketed with trash. No, you gutter-minded folk, that's not referring to the chaste women of Lifetime's new series "Russian Dolls," but the trash on the beach that is reportedly caused by a new policy set in place by the Parks Department. NY1 reports that by putting the trash cans in groups at the entrances and exits of the beach and away from where people actually sit, the Parks Department is contributing to the mess on the sand. One Brighton Beach-goer tells the reporter, "The sand is very hot and most people are not going to want to start trekking across the sand to to just put garbage in a can." Sheesh, maybe the tagline for that Lifetime show should be called "Brighton's Bunions: Don't Turn Our Widdle Piggies Into BBQ."

The Parks Department told NY1 that they've distributed 1,500 garbage cans at Coney Island and Brighton Beach, and that the new placement areas allow their vehicles to "more effectively and safely move in straight lines during the nightly cleaning." But how will folks effectively discard their Bartles & Jaymes empties if they have to walk 100 feet across the desert beach? "People should bring plastic bags out in their blankets and after they finish drinking something throw it inside the bag," a man on the boardwalk says. Wheew, that plan sounds like a lot of work! So much work that we may need to hit the beach.