Hoverboards: When they're not knocking out Mike Tyson, sending Russell Crowe over the edge, or just exploding into flames, they're the catalyst for armed robberies. On Black Friday, a 22-year-old man was shot during a street-level hoverboard deal gone wrong, and now two Long Island men say they were robbed, bound, and tossed "onto a wriggling heap of other men" when they tried to buy a hoverboard at a Queens brothel. "Buying a hoverboard"... is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Pals Brian Taylor and Walter Roth say they were responding to a Craigslist ad for a hoverboard at a house on 103rd Street in Jackson Heights around 11:30 p.m. this past Sunday. (The Post and the Daily News both report the address is "a known brothel.") When they knocked on the door, a group of men pointed guns in their faces, forced them inside, and took their phones, wallets, and jewelry.

Taylor and Roth were then bound with duct tape and shoved onto the "heap of other men in the same predicament." Taylor tells the NY Post, "They stacked us up in a pyramid, one body on top of the other — and I was on the bottom getting crushed. At some point, I had some guy’s groin in my face... I didn’t want to put my head on the floor because it was so dirty."

Roth tells the News that the pile of men eventually managed to free themselves and escape unharmed: "I grabbed a key and cut the tape off another guy. All of a sudden people start running. Everybody just scattered like cockroaches." A police source says Taylor and Roth were the only two victims to notify authorities. The culprits remain at large.

Roth added that throughout the ordeal, “the whole time the doorbell kept ringing. And I just think they kept robbing people and tying them up." Women in the house were also held captive—Roth and Taylor say one captive woman on the couch would shake her head whenever one of the men in the wriggling heap tried to break free, saying, “No, Papi. No, Papi.”

This is sage advice for everyone when it comes to hoverboards: just say no papi.