Good news: the cost of renting an apartment in Brooklyn has gone down from last year... if you're looking for a two-bedroom in Greenpoint, DUMBO, or Boerum Hill. Everywhere else and in all other sizes rents are "on the Up and Up," to quote the chipper words of real estate tracking website MNS. Their report on Brooklyn's rental market in 2014 reveals that neighborhoods away from the waterfront—areas like ProCro where you used to be able to find slightly less obscene rental options—saw dramatic rent increases last year. Bigger than Williamsburg, if that's even possible.

The averages in the MNS report eliminate outlier luxury rentals above $10,000, but these figures are still averages, not medians, so maybe don't succumb to despair and move to the Upper East Side just yet. Still, even accounting for $9,000 luxury rentals skewing the averages, it is remarkable to see how much rents rose last year in Boerum Hill, Crown Heights, Cobble Hill and Bed-Stuy.

The price of a studio rental in Boerum Hill rose 23.4% last year, and studio rentals rose 22.81% in Crown Heights. Studio rentals in Bed-Stuy rose 15.77%, while Cobble Hill studios rose 10.9%, and Fort Greene rose 15.43%.

One-bedrooms rose less precipitously, but still ridiculously. Cobble Hill leads the pack in one-bedroom desirability, with a 12.1% spike. The proximity to the ever-improving Brooklyn Bridge Park is no doubt a factor here, not to mention Brucie and Pok Pok. One-bedrooms in Crown Heights and Clinton Hill rose an average 8.02% and 7.11%, respectively. Just forget it. Maybe Feldmar needs a roommate?

Only in Bay Ridge and Crown Heights did the average rental cost of a 2-bedroom rise dramatically; in most other neighborhoods 2-bedroom rents declined or increased slightly. Your half-finished screenplay about a group of 40-something Brooklyn roommate zombies has never been more timely!

According to the report, the average rent in Brooklyn overall went up 4.5% from 2013 to 2014, rising to $2,676 from $2,562. The report, which only looked at Brooklyn's "major neighborhoods," did not examine rent trends in East New York, a "new frontier" which has tone deaf real estate brokers drooling.

Has anyone tried Queens? They're getting a monorail ya' know!