Mayor Bloomberg is quite adept at verbal jujitsu when he needs to be—which has become quite clear in his bipolar responses to the ongoing Occupy Wall Street protests. But he outdid himself today on his radio show: when he was asked about a bill that would ban hard-to-remove parking violation stickers, Bloomberg weaved into a metaphor which involved murdering your parents as he defended their continued usage.

If people are complaining, then we should keep doing it...I mean, don’t break the law. It’s almost like, you know, you murder your parents and then you say to the judge, ‘But I’m an orphan, you can’t put me in jail.’ Don’t murder your parents, you don’t have, you’re not an orphan, and in this case, don’t break the law you don’t have to worry about it.

Brooklyn Councilman David Greenfield has introduced the bill to outlaw the stickers —“Innocent until proven guilty is true for everything except alternate side parking,” he quipped. The Sanitation Department, which affixes approximately 400 stickers a week, claims they’re more effective at clearing the streets of cars before street sweepers arrive than fines. “If you don’t like the law of cleaning the streets or alternate side, change that, but don’t go break the law,” Bloomberg added.

The City Council also approved a plan yesterday backing Albany legislation that would allow the city to implement a residential parking permit program. The program is intended to curb traffic by designating street parking for local residents, but critics say it amounts to a tax for something that has always been free. Bloomberg isn't nervous about it either way: "I'm told it has no chance of passing," he said this morning. But if it did pass, would that be like stealing your sickly grandparents' organs and selling them on the black market?