For a man who has publicly toyed with the idea of buying one of most influential newspapers in the country, Bloomberg's tolerance for reporters and their meddlesome questions has withered to total nonexistence, imploding in on itself like a neutron star of impatience.

"Every press conference all you want to do is ask about things I’m not going to say. I’m not going to bother with the press conferences. There’s just no reason to do it," he threatened yesterday. Nosy reporters, always asking about things King Bloomberg wishes not to discuss. Why doesn't anyone ever just want to sit back and reminisce about how shitty and stabby the city used to be before he came along? Why doesn't the Wall Street Journal ever ask how his day is going, hmm?

He went on: “I think it’s very important we talk to the public and answer the press’ questions. But you just have to restrict the questions to things that are germane to what our administration is doing.” (From the Bloomberg English Dictionary: Germane: jərˈmān/: adjective : 1. Flattering, complimentary. Antonym: Stop-and-frisk.)

Bloomberg, who was at Chelsea Piers yesterday to talk about how he singlehandedly made New York air more breathable, is also not interested in the mayor's race: Certainly! Why should he care what happens to New York City—a metropolis he presided over for 12 years—once he vacates office? Fuck that place!

"Literally, miss, I have not listened to one campaign speech, or seen one ad or watched one debate," he told a reporter for NBC. "I've got to worry about running the city, so I don't know what people are saying." By "people," of course, Bloomberg means the next mayor, who will be succeeding him in a scant few months. (Literally: litərəlē,ˈlitrə-/: 1. OK maybe a little.)

But Bloomberg wants us to know that he's not mad at the press. He's disappointed. So much worse, right?

"I'm not," he said in response to a question about why he was so angry. "It's just there's so many things that are important." Like this.