The 66-year-old billionaire who was banned for life from Nobu and allegedly pulled a gun on a slow-moving elevator operator at Trump Tower is a kind soul who donates millions of dollars to charity, thereby negating all of his creepy, wildly inappropriate behavior. According to the Law of Rich Assholes, Stewart Rahr is free to live a life of shameless name-dropping and unbridled megalomania because he really means well. “Stewie Rah Rah has got a soft spot for those in need," Rahr's fellow billionaire, Mark Cuban, tells the Post. "I have nothing but great things to say about him and his generosity."

Rahr tells the paper that he made his fortune taking over the family drug distribution business in Brooklyn, dropping out of law school to deliver medication to independent drug stores. At 45, Rahr was made an offer to sell, “But I was so young, I thought, I can take this to the next level.” After he started shipping cosmetics, business boomed, and in 2010 at age 64, Rahr sold the company for $1.6 billion.

Now Rahr spends his time throwing money at good causes so he can advance his own more dubious ones. Earlier this month in Las Vegas, Rahr promised professional gambler RJ Cipriani that he'd "look after" Cipriani's wife, 22-year-old Brazilian model, Greice Santo, when Cipriani had to leave suddenly for Las Vegas. Shockingly, things went sour: Rahr allegedly became enraged when Santo refused to dine with him one night and he forcibly tried to enter her hotel room. Santo called the police. “I felt very threatened and uncomfortable,” she told the paper.

What does the "No. 1 King of All Fun" have to say about it? “I tried to help the guy. I wish I’d never met him,” Rahr said.

Rahr donated $100,000 to a man whose son has kidney disease in exchange for the man lowering his voice at lunch (“This guy at the next table yells, ‘Hey, I want to help your son. You’re talking very loudly. If you talk a little lower, I’ll write you a check for $100,000,’ ”) but failed to gain entry to the exclusive Sebonack Golf Club even though he flashed a $1 million check.

The billionaire's foundation "lets him hand out five-figure checks like business cards" to celebrity "pet causes," which in turn allows him to torture celebrities with his presence, which in part aligns him with Justice until you read this sad passage in the profile.

Rahr has made a host of influential friends. Jay Leno, he says, recently showed up at his hotel in LA for a quick visit. “He came to see me!” he said, and handed a reporter a phone with a video clip of the talk-show host relaxing. Rahr has lined his office with hundreds of grip-and-grin shots of himself clutching the likes of Joaquin Phoenix, Taylor Swift and Prince Albert. “Look at these photos,” he says. “I know them all!”

Somewhere, Rodney Dangerfield is leaning over a cloud screaming, "Hey asshole, those were FICTIONAL characters I played!"