123107stripper.jpgWhen we decided to check in on the status of the proposed bill to regulate New York’s exotic dancers, it was partially in the interest of pleasuring ourselves with some droll double entendres. But it seems you’ve got to get up pretty early in the morning to beat Daily News Bronx Borough Chief Bob Kappstatter to the pun:

A bill that would license exotic dancers has been bumping and grinding its way ever so slowly through the legislative hopper in Albany - but the "sin-tax" in the measure may leave legislators poles apart.

Work it, Kappstatter, work it! Brooklyn Assemblyman Felix Ortiz proposed the bill in May but it “has yet to climb pole”; Ortiz now expects hearings to heat up in February after 8 months stuck in committee. “We're now giving more detailed information to committee members to, if you will, get them more educated," said Ortiz – part of his education has included visits to strip clubs to “see what my constituents were complaining about.” Your tax dollars at work.

As it stands now, unlicensed dancers would have to pay just 20 crumpled dollar bills for a first time offense of stripping without papers, but “clubs that employ them would face even stiffer fines.” (Oh, Kappstatter.) Dancers would have to renew their licenses with the Labor Department every 3 years. Back in May a spokesman for Scores told Fox News: “This is an example of big government trying to put their hands in the dancers’ G-strings. And everyone knows there's no touching – that's not allowed.” Riiight. First they came for the strippers...

The purpose of the "Dance Performer Registration Act", according to Ortiz, is to monitor places where “commercial sexual exploitation occurs and to make sure the dancers are of legal age, legally documented and not victims of sex trafficking.” Surely a noble cause, but there’s still no word on how much the licenses will cost – after all, these dancers have college tuition to pay!

Photo of clearly unlicensed stripper by Boots Hates That.