Because nobody, not Jon Stewart, not Ludacris, gets one over on Bill O'Reilly, the FOX News host allegedly had the Nassau County Police Department investigate whether his wife was having an affair with a NCPD detective. The internal affairs detective who was tasked with spying on O'Reilly's wife of 15 years, Maureen McPhilmy O'Reilly, tells Gawker's source, "Do you know Bill O'Reilly? I got called into my boss' office saying they wanted me to meet with these two PI's working for O'Reilly …because a detective was having an affair with O'Reilly's wife.'" So while "Obamacare" doesn't require taxpayers to fund abortion, the average citizen on Long Island is paying for the NCPD to investigate O'Reilly's personal problems.

Apparently O'Reilly and his wife have been on the outs for a year after she bought a separate house and registered to vote there, while Bill kept his registration at his current residence. This was also corroborated by a source at FOX News, who said O'Reilly's nephew used to work at the Factor, and allegedly said, "Yeah, I think my aunt and uncle are headed for a divorce. My aunt is seeing someone, and that really pissed my uncle off."

The NCPD didn't agree to look into O'Reilly's allegations out of the kindness of their hearts: the TV host was reportedly considering a large donation to a planned $48 million police facility at Nassau Community College. The now-retired commissioner of the NCPD who ordered the probe, Lawrence Mulvey, told Gawker's John Cook that he did know O'Reilly personally, and even acknowledged that such an investigation existed, saying, "I don't know if the investigation is ongoing or concluded." He refused further comment, as did the detective who was asked to spy on O'Reilly's wife. The detective who was asked to keep tabs on O'Reilly's wife refused the job, and was reassigned to another unit.

While FOX News and O'Reilly refused Gawker's request to comment, Cook notes that Roger Ailes has treated the police as his private security firm, and that another journalist working for the Long Island Press on a story about alleged favors done for NCPD donors was contacted out of the blue and told in no uncertain terms that O'Reilly hadn't donated anything. Odd, coming from a man who has dedicated his life to creating a "No Spin Zone."