Between Houston and 34th Street on First Avenue and between Houston and 14th Street on Second Avenue, DOT forces have marched in and installed a dedicated bike lane separated from traffic by a "floating" row of parked cars, a tactic which they've successfully deployed in previous bike lane battles on Grand Street, parts of Eighth and Ninth Avenues, and part of Kent Avenue in Brooklyn. It seems that despite advance warning from the DOT, local businesses have been blindsided, and they're now attempting to rally a counterattack. But is it too late?

Hardware store owner Jim Doria has been particularly hard hit. He tells NY1, "My truck has to park away from the curb. Now my employees have to cross through an active bike lane and there's a possibility of being hit by a bicycle, and there's cyclists getting hurt. My driver's getting hurt." What do those merciless DOT bastards expect his employees to do, look both ways before crossing a street?!

Another merchant, Jawad Rasul, tells the news channel, "Should have the bike lane on the other side, the way it was before and parking would be on the same side." In response to Rasul's counterrevolutionary propaganda, DOT regulars napalmed his business in order to ram a bike lane right through his property. Kidding—actually, DOT officials met with Rasul and agreed to give him a loading zone. The DOT calls that "winning hearts and minds," but we doubt the die hard East Village resistance will be so easily placated. Bike carefully on the lunar new year, people.