This week New York magazine's cover story concerns the battle over bike lanes, and if you've been following along with this ongoing saga, you won't be surprised that the in-depth article is full of reasonable, circumspect, and totally-not-paranoid statements from both sides of the debate. Here are our five favorite:

  • "Cyclists can be anywhere, at any time: on the sidewalk, riding the wrong way down the street," says one man who used to own a bike shop in the East Village. "And you have no peace. The anarchy that has been allowed to prevail is astonishing. According to butterfly theory, according to chaos theory, I am sure that the level of emotional and psychological damage wrought by the bicycle far exceeds the damage done by cars. The cumulative effect is equivalent to what happened on 9/11."
  • Streetsblog co-founder Aaron Naparstek on the law firm that's handling, pro bono, the lawsuit against the DOT and the Prospect Park West bike lane: "Gibson Dunn is the law firm that represented George W. Bush in Bush v. Gore in 2000. Now they’re working to get rid of a bike lane. Think about that."
  • Dov Hikind, a Brooklyn State assemblyman who represents the 48th District, on DOT Commissioner Janette Sadik-Khan: "I can get to God faster than I can get to her. Listen, the commissioner enjoys having the freedom she has. At night she dreams of these things, and the next day she does them."
  • Staten Island city councilman James Oddo on Sadik-Khan's attitude: "I’m telling you, you could hand out apple pie for free all day long, but if you hand it out with an imperial attitude, no one is going to take it." (Can we have your slice, Oddo?)
  • And Deputy Mayor Howard Wolfson, who actually does make a reasonable point on the PPW lawsuit: "If you let the threat of a single lawsuit paralyze you, you’d never get anything done."

So there you have it: Sadik-Khan is playing God with the bike lanes, which are the same as 9/11 and the grand contested election of 2000. But doesn't anybody see the connection between all this and the Holocaust?! And why won't Sadik-Khan just settle this controversy by releasing her birth certificate? THINK ABOUT IT.

And speaking of Wolfson, he issued some talking points to "interested parties" today, in a memo obtained by Azi Paybarah at the Observer. In the memo, Wolfson notes, "Over the last four years, bike lane projects were presented to Community Boards at 94 public meetings. There have been over 40 individual committee and full community board votes and/or resolutions supporting bike projects. Projects are constantly being changed post-installation, after the community provides input and data about the conditions on the street." In other words, the bike lanes are rammed down New Yorkers' throats in the dead of night.