62-year-old Annette Bongiorno worked for Bernie Madoff for 40 years and made some serious cash while she was at it: her $920k "investment" in his ponzi scheme got her $14 million—of which she still has $2.5 in cash and stocks. But now she is under arrest and she isn't being allowed to use any of her ill-gotten gains to pay her $5 million bail. Soon enough her house arrest in her $3 million Florida home (one of two she's got) may become a big house arrest.

Bongiorno is being charged with conspiracy, tax evasion and other charges by the feds—who also are looking for that money back, thank you very much— and she faces 75 years or more in the slammer if she is convicted.

The problem is now she can't find anyone to co-sign her bond. Last week a judge ordered her to come up with between five and 10 more co-signers after her initial eight backers "included a tax deadbeat and a relative who's more than $100,000 in debt." Whoops!

And in case you thought that nobody was looking to gain from Mark Madoff's suicide look no further than Bongiorno's lawyer. He points out that nobody wants to help his client out because the case is so shameful that "You've got people hanging themselves" over it.