Over the weekend, Sirius XM shut down its studios so that an exterminator could treat the building for bedbugs. On his show yesterday, Howard Stern announced, "supposedly we're 100% bedbug-free. The only place in New York City that probably is 100% bedbug-free." But he's having a hard time freeing himself from the bedbugs in his head, revealing that "I'm scratching every minute... You know how paranoid I am about bedbugs. I just wish our contract was done and we could get out of here." And just like last month, Stern waxed nostalgic for the bygone days of DDT.

Blaming the bedbug renaissance on the U.S. ban of DDT back in '72, Stern told listeners, "Now they're back! Because of hippies with their goddamn DDT-inhibition!" U.S. companies continued to produce DDT through the early '80s for export around the world, and it's still used in countries like South Africa to kill malarial mosquitoes. But many other African countries don't use the insecticide, primarily because aid groups refuse to supply it. On an earlier program, Stern went on a rant about DDT's disappearance, citing an article by global warming skeptic Paul Driessen. "They gotta bring back DDT," Stern implored. "Stop being a bunch of pussies." Seriously! Screw the bald eagle and the fragile ecosystem, bedbugs have turned up in Howard's limo!

Of course, the only problem with Stern's immaculate reasoning is that bedbugs had started adapting to DDT long before it was banned, and researchers today have found that some bed bug populations are nearly 100% resistant to DDT.