Well, the headline pretty much says it all. The MTA took two N trains out of service on Sunday because of a bed bug infestation. And yesterday, the Daily News reports, bed bugs knocked another N train out of service. The parasites have traditionally eschewed well-lit environments, so the subway infestation is somewhat unusual, unless this signals a new step in the bed bugs' evolution. No longer content to hide in the shadows, it appears bed bugs are now stepping proudly into the spotlight, and making all local stops.

One source tells the News that "some of the bugs were found in seat cushions in train cabs, which are used by conductors and motormen." MTA spokesman Adam Lisberg tells the tabloid, "When we found them, we exterminated them." Smart move.

During the height of the city's bed bug pandemic in the late aughts, bed bugs were discovered nestled in wooden benches in multiple subway stations. A year later, video surfaced which appeared to show a bed bug riding the R train, and bed bugs were also spotted in a Park Slope token booth. Reports of bed bug infestations have declined since 2010, but this N train incident suggests they've just shifted their focus underground.

In short, there's no escape—bed bugs will come carry us all away, one by one, to their underground blood harvesting colonies. All aboard the F/M/L train to Parasite Station; all we can hope for is that it doesn't run local the entire way.