After the relative lull in bed bug news since last fall, the bugs have resurfaced! But this year, the critters just aren't satisfied with the relative squalor of the outer boroughs. According to New York Magazine, they've made their debut in multimillion-dollar apartments on the Upper East Side. Hide the winter furs!

The story chronicles one "Margaret," who awoke one morning to find red welts on her son's back and chest. Upon inspecting his bed, she found the culprits. “I’m squeamish, but I reached out and squashed one. It was filled with my son’s blood. And they were all over. I turned the headboard around and saw all the eggs. At which point I screamed." However, folks without multiple thousands of square feet may rest easy knowing that in the case of a bed bug infestation, getting them out will be way easier than it was for Margaret. One exterminator just ended up scalding her silk-velvet sofa, and the family was soon forced to relocate to their weekend home. Quel domage! By the end of the fiasco, the family had spent nearly $70,000, $30,000 on dry cleaning alone.

Jeff Eisenberg of Pest Away says the neighborhood is currently "teeming" with bed bugs, despite what city studies say. He says the difference is that most renters call 311 in an effort to pressure their landlords, while those who own brownstones won't get the city involved. He also tells of one UES resident who had the bugs crawling around the inside of his hat when he came to exterminate. You know what's starting to look really fashionable right now? Hazmat suits.