Bed bug mania has simmered down in NYC since the Subway Bed Bug Scare of 2014, but this week international diplomats find themselves no more immune than straphangers to phantom-itch—bed bugs are in the United Nations. Again.
According to an e-mail sent to U.N. staff on Tuesday, the buggers were spotted in two cubicles on the 34th floor of the U.N.'s Secretariat building, on 42nd Street. "The Department of Management wishes to inform staff that bedbugs have been detected in an isolated area," reads the e-mail. "We have every reason to believe that the problem has been contained, but will remain vigilant."
The scare prompted some strongly-worded responses from frantic staff members. One anonymous and possibly insane person told Inner City Press (which seems to have the lock on U.N. bed bug news), "They were working on it over the weekend but didn't want to tell anyone. Like a smaller version of their cover up of the sexual abuse of children in Central Africa."
Once the bed bugs are formally recognized as a nation and given a seat on the Security Council, we're sure they'll turn out to be fine members of the international community. Until then, prepare with this short guide to what might be eating you.