Between the racist metal detectors and the toilet paper trauma, it's been an up and down week at the new Barclays Center. But today, DNAInfo reports the harshest charges yet: that Barclays Center patrons have allegedly been pissing all over Park Slope—including on the Brooklyn Bears Community Garden on Pacific Street and Flatbush Avenue. "He was about to release himself on the bushes and I told him, 'Hey, the plants!,'" Michelle R., a member of the garden, told them. "He was right by the rose bushes, poor babies, a few feet from the grape vines I planted this year." And a rose by any other name would smell just as asparagus-y.
This news has leaked out to the desks of City Council members Letitia James and Stephen Levin, who say they received numerous complaints about public urination. These micturate misgivings were brought up at the first meeting of the Barclays Center quality of life committee this week.
"Everyone on the block is complaining about it," one local, who gave his name only as K.W., said. "It smells up the block. It's been noticeably worse since the arena opened. It was just totally disgusting. In New York City you don't accept that kind of uncivilized behavior." Which sounds exactly like someone who has never been in NYC before. Because even speaking as someone who has received a ticket for public urination in Central Park, you'd be fooling yourself if you think there is any piece of real estate in this city that hasn't been peed on already. So you can take those wild pee theories and go back to Venice.
One woman even said she'd also heard a complaint about public defecation. Officials promised that more lighting will be installed along Pacific Street, and more workers will be instructed to monitor the streets outside the arena. Another resident suggested that officials should send a water truck to hose down the urine-soaked Pacific Street sidewalk. Something has to be done before there's a total pee meltdown:
