Is the media frenzy over the balloon boy stunt making you sick? You're not the only one! Parents Richard and Mayumi Heene are very busy pimping themselves out to the networks, and they're not about to let their li'l star's stomach virus stand in the way of their precious 15 minutes. This morning Falcon—the six-year-old boy who was hiding in the attic while America was voyeuristically titillatedworried sick that he was in a runaway helium balloon—vomited twice on two different talk shows this morning, just like a pussified wus. Here's the Today Show spew, at 5:50 in:

But come on—that's not really vomit, just another valiant attempt to entertain America with more exhilarating television! (The little trouper also upchucked on Good Morning America.) Last night on Larry King Live, Falcon told his parents that he stayed in the attic because, duh, "You guys said that we did this for a show." Let's face it: The Heenes, who've previously appeared on Wife Swap, may be the inevitable foul fruit to spring from the irrevocably twisted tree of reality TV.

So get used to them, because now the fun really starts, as they desperately struggle to prolong the media attention with more "plot" twists. Will one of Falcon's brothers rat out the whole family in an exclusive with Barbara Walters? Will the hoax allegations tear Richard and Mayumi apart? A former colleague of Richard has already come forward to say he thinks it was a publicity stunt and that Richard is "always scheming." We hardly need to tell you to stay tuned, because there's nothing else to tune to.