To understand how deep the gentrification roots have grown throughout Alphabet City look no further than 34 Avenue A. Not even that long ago Phil Hartman (not the dead actor, the Two Boots owner) tried to make the address into Mo Pitkin's, a restaurant/performance space to nurture arts and artists in the area. When that failed, über bro-bar Aces and Eights Saloon made a bad bet on the space and now... Well, now it is going to be Ruff Club, and exclusive doggy daycare and human social club. At last, New Yorkers using their dogs as test-run babies can experience the pressure of getting little Esperanto and Loisaida into preschool too!

As DNAinfo notes, Ruff Club is going to begin screening canine candidates for membership this week. Which means "a strict application process" and a "temperament test" to make sure Fido (and his owners) are a good fit for the social club. So what do they mean by social club? According to their FAQ:

When their member people can't hang, Ruff Club dogs socialize in daycare, boarding, and grooming spaces. Members reserve pet care reservations at When they come in, they can hang at the Club for a while, or quickly check in their dog(s) via iPad kiosk.

When members get where they're going (typically work, or some other brutally dogless endeavor), they can live stream the action on and learn about the other Club dogs that are checked in.

But of course, it'll cost you! Membership is $149 "to use the social club and access pet care reservations and services" like "complimentary Wi-Fi, locally roasted coffee, and priority admission to public events at Ruff Club." And after the membership feeds, "Members unlock discount codes by referring new members and making online pet care reservations. Without a code, daycare starts at $29 per day and boarding at $49 per night." They do, however, have scholarships for "low-income applicant with a rescue, service, or retired military/fire/police dog." The folks living at the nearby Village View are going to appreciate that! But even the dogs on a free ride will have to come in and pass a "socializing test."

Sigh. Is it sad that we'd prefer the drunk bros from Aces and Eights to these silly bitches?