A judge has ruled that an Atlantic City casino must pay gamblers nearly a million dollars after a card manufacturer neglected to shuffle the Baccarat deck. Shortly after the ruling, the magnanimous billionaire president of the Golden Nugget agreed to pay out the amount without delay: “Even though we can appeal the court’s ruling and take full advantage of the appellate process and legal system, and tie the matter up in litigation for a number of years, the Golden Nugget is a people business," Tilman Fertitta told the AP, presumably as he sat on a gilded throne stroking a Persian cat.

The gamblers began noticing the all-too-orderly pattern in which the cards were being dealt, and began betting large sums of money. “I wasn’t cheating,” one of the gamblers said. “We took a chance on every hand we bet, that it wouldn’t change. We didn’t know if it was going to change. That’s called gambling.”

The casino will have to pursue legal action against the card manufacturer to recoup their losses, but let this be a lesson to all casinos that serve water at beer pong tournaments: you will be cursed.