NYC's teens are fat, stoned, and can't stop having sex with each other, so claims the Post in their "EXCLUSIVE" look at last year's CDC survey of the city's teenagers. Marijuana use among high schoolers is at 17.7%, up from 12.3% in 2005, and 28% of teenagers are obese or overweight. "For many teens, sex seems to be their only physical activity," the paper sneers, noting that 38% of teens have had sex, half before the age of 13. And get this, they're lazy too: "Half of the teens surveyed don’t even ride a bike." Maybe because they read The Post? And with stories like, "Kim K. Sex Diet-Could it really work?" who can blame a teenager if they think they can screw off those extra pounds?

80% of the city's teenagers don't get the recommended 60 minutes of exercise a day, 60% don't have daily gym, and 38% watch more than three hours of TV a day. “New York City youth remain in better shape than their peers around the country when it comes to physical education and obesity, as well as rates of alcohol and illicit drug abuse," a DOH spokesperson noted, and whaddya know, they're right.