If there was any doubt that Apple's neurotic proclivity for secrecy is absolute, the company is suing tiny stores in Queens' Chinatown for trademark infringement. Reuters reports that Apple Story Inc, and Fun Zone "along with an undisclosed number of unnamed businesses and 50 'John Does'" were charged in the complaint. In typical Apple fashion, "documents in the case have been sealed," and the judge in the case allowed pertinent evidence to be seized from the stores that mainly sell iPad and iPhone accessories. No word on whether Apple will change their logo to a clenched, black-gloved fist.

Although the stores don't sound nearly as successful at copying Apple's brand as the recently shut down fakes in China, one customer tells the Post that she almost couldn't tell the difference. "Going up the escalator, I thought it was an Apple Store," she said, but the telltale sign it wasn't? Low prices. "A lot of the items are chintzy—and that's not Apple." Indeed: all of the goods are probably made in China, but if you're not paying a shitload of money for them, it ain't Apple. Now if you'll excuse us, we have an Asian iPad-resale gang initiation to attend (Mac OS in, Mac OS out).