"She suddenly felt something on her leg, looked down, and said to him, 'What are you doing?'" So went another day at NYPD headquarters, where an unnamed civilian administrative aide was allegedly splattered with semen by a veteran NYPD sergeant. One police source tells the Daily News, "He was apparently so enamored by her that he threw semen on her." Gone are the days when "enamored" police officers simply texted photos of their penises.

Sgt. Michael Iscenko, 54, was suspended in June pending the outcome of an investigation into the incident, which allegedly occurred at One Police Plaza in January as the woman walked back to her office from the women's restroom. The semen reportedly splashed on her leg and shoe. It's not known exactly how the semen was deployed at the victim—like, did Iscenko (allegedly!) cup the semen carefully in one of his hands, or did he transport it in some sort of receptacle, or maybe a turkey baster? Perhaps we don't need to dwell on the logistics of this.

Iscenko's alleged victim reported the assault immediately, and a test of the liquid on her leg confirmed that it was in fact semen. But for reasons that remain unclear, it wasn't until yesterday that the Manhattan DA's office obtained a warrant to get a DNA sample from Iscenko, in an attempt to prove the ejaculate was his.

There is security camera video of the incident, which reportedly shows Iscenko, in uniform, crouching down behind the woman. After allegedly throwing the semen at her, Iscenko can reportedly be seen walking away. According to the News, Incenko had previously told his victim that he "liked" her.

Iscenko, a divorcee who resides on Long Island, had been assigned to a unit that patrols housing developments in Queens. Residents may or may not want to inspect the halls with a blacklight.