At 9 p.m. tonight, President Obama and Mitt Romney will engage for their third and final debate. If you're not planning on watching millionaires in uniforms spit into the dirt while they adjust their gloves and violently slam into each other, why not watch other millionaires in suits duke it out with words? Here are a few things to keep in mind when you flip to the debate.
Where is the debate? Boca Raton, Florida, that place that your parents went to after your Dad accidentally bid on that trip there at a silent auction and left you alone with that really cool sitter who was in high school and let you drink some of their Mad Dog 20/20. According to Nate Silver's forecast model, Romney has a 69% chance (DID SOMEONE SAY "VICTORY PARTY IN DAYTONA?") of winning the state on election day, but the state is only the ninth most important on the electoral college map.
What are they debating? Because the first two debates centered mostly around domestic policy and humoring people who either can't make up their goddamn minds or who haven't been paying attention in the first place, this debate will consist of questions regarding foreign policy. As in all previous debates, you can expect no questions about climate change, which is definitely nothing to be concerned about and not at all a fucking priority!
Moderator Bob Schieffer has said he will devote 30 minutes to "the changing Middle East and the new face of terrorism," 15 minutes to war in Afghanistan and Pakistan, Iran's nuclear production as it relates to Israel's security, and China's relationship with the United States.
Will it get shouty and fun like the last one? Tough to say. Both candidates may try to tread lightly and avoid seeming overly aggressive, if only because Romney's foreign policy polling gap is too wide to overcome in a single night and Obama just needs to maintain appearing presidential (you know: diplomacy, grieving with families of the slain, and stone-cold murdering anyone who gets in our way, including civilians).
Then again, Romney may try to push the president on the still-unraveling story of how the administration bungled communicating the Benghazi disaster to the American people, and Obama may mention the part of Romney's "47% video" in which he calls the future existence of a Palestinian state "almost unthinkable." Either way, we will be shouting at the TV.
Does this thing even matter? Maybe more so than the previous two debates, given that this is, as David Hawkings puts it, the "last, best opportunity to make an impression that lingers for at least the next 15 days." Perhaps that's why Mitt Romney is ALREADY sitting at his seat. We remember some psych major telling us in college that you benefit from studying for a test in the same place where you take it, but then again, that same guy made a bong out of a crab claw once.
