Sometimes you really have to go, even if you're being charged with commiting disability pension fraud. Prosecutors said that one of the defendants in the billion-dollar LIRR disability pension scam, Maria Rusin, purposefully urinated on herself because she didn't want to face charges. The Post reports that Assistant US Attorney Justin Weddle said that Rusin “slumped over and did other things to make it appear she needed medical attention" on Thursday. Oh, and the Post wants us to know that federal courtroom chair still had signs of her "bladder bumble."

The feds say that 11 people—from doctors to LIRR employees and union members— schemed to approve nearly all Long Island Rail Road employees trying to retire early with disability pensions (meaning they would be paid their pension payments would equal their pre-retirement pay). Weddle complained that Rusin was seen at a local hospital and found to fine. He also mentioned that she had also "fabricated a medical condition” to avoid meeting prosecutors on an earlier occasion. But Rusin's lawyer said, “Nobody would go to such extreme lengths [and] ...urinate all over herself."

Rusin was an office manager who allegedly helped Dr. Peter Ajemian approve claims for 453 patients. Newsday notes that Rusin has property and bank accounts in Uruguay and Croatia, prompting flight risk concerns. She was released on $750,000 bail.