There's nothing like a post-robbery attempt dip in the East River! The Post reports that a man suspected of trying to steal an ATM—by knocking it over with his van— on the Lower East Side early Tuesday morning had managed to put the ATM into his vehicle, but then the cops came. Valentin Garcia "ran out of room as he sprinted two blocks down Rutgers Street, running smack into the river... But that didn't stop him -- he jumped into the cold, dark waters and tried to swim for it." He was fished out and apparently told cops, "I was not in the van. I don't know anything about ATM machines." Garcia was also allegedly overheard using his alloted phone call to tell someone, "911! Get all of the cash out from my mattress!" Garcia is being held on $50,000 bail; he is suspected in a number of knocked-over ATM robberies.