Huge politics news: Mayor de Blasio endorsed Hillary Clinton this morning in an extremely convincing way. "There's a lotta spine there, a lotta steel there," de Blasio said, as if he were inspecting a large crane, but also recommending that his friend and former boss, Hillary Clinton, be president of the United States for at least four years.
De Blaz did it on Morning Joe—which is a good because everyone in New York City crowds around all the TVs that Bloomberg installed in the taxicabs and watches Morning Joe for their politics.
"This is a very sharp, progressive platform," Mayor de Blasio said of Hillary Clinton's current beliefs.
But the people on Morning Joe are pretty smart—they're serious about politics—they wanted to get down to brass tacks.
"Maybe look into camera 3 and say, 'Progressives, I am endorsing Hillary Clinton over Bernie Sanders because…'" is what one of the guys on Morning Joe ordered de Blasio to say. [Editor's note: Seriously, this actually happens!]
So De Blaz isn't gonna back down, so he looks into camera 3 and says, "Hey Progressives I'm supporting Hillary Clinton because—"
"Say 'endorsing,' say 'endorsing,' please," the man in the suit interrupts, because he knows Slick Willie might later try and say he never ENDORSED Hillary Clinton he only SUPPORTED her kind of like you SUPPORT the idea of getting mushrooms on a pizza but don't really want them to be president.
"I'm endorsing, I'm supporting Hillary Clinton enthusiastically because we have to take on income inequality, it is the issue of our time, we have to restore the middle class and Hillary Clinton knows how to do it, will get it done and has a progressive platform that speaks to all the changes we need."
After De Blaz talked some more, everyone on the show just kind of let his words hang in the air, such was their power and sincerity.
Hillary's got this in the bag, now.
Bernie Sanders hasn't responded yet, probably because he locked himself in his room and knocked over his big dusty plastic cup of pennies looking for that one Big Star record with that song that goes "and there AIN'T NO ONEEEE GOIN TO TURN MEEEE 'ROUND." Who the hell cares about Mike Davis?