Between holiday anxiety, the usual neuroses of just living in a crowded mass of humanity and that whole election thing, New Yorkers are a little on edge. On the one hand, you could find a professional to talk with, meeting regularly for a painful series of sessions what will one day allow you to make a big breakthrough after years of expensive probing. On the other hand, you've got places to be and there's a plain-talking 11-year-old at the Bedford Avenue stop who'll talk it out with you for just $2.
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Bushwick 6th grader Ciro Ortiz has been spending the last few Sundays with a stand at the Bedford Avenue L stop, giving straight talk advice to straphangers the way only an 11-year-old can. As an example, he tells a man upset that his girlfriend is a vegan, "that she didn’t get mad at him for eating meat" and that they'll just have to deal with it.
For just $4.75 (Ortiz's five minutes of advice run you two dollars, but don't forget subway fare), that's not such bad advice.You probably can't even find a friend to tell you that you better just learn to accept change without buying them at least $15 worth of drinks.
$2 for emotions #yeswilliamsburg #vscocam #emotionaladvicekid
A photo posted by Julianna Rodriguez-Dolsen (@julsrod) on
creeper mom. emotional advice in progress. #emotionaladvice #emotionaladvicekid #mylove
A photo posted by revengeuploaded (@revengeuploaded) on
Like any superhero, Ortiz has a tragic backstory, which in this case is that he's bullied by asshole kids at his middle school. Even in the face of that though, Ortiz's mother says that he takes his profits and buys food and snacks for kids who can't afford them. Truly, this is a child too good for both middle school and this Earth. Until LSD is made easily available, it sounds like Ortiz is your best bet for affordable therapy in this city.