Ebola is a global crisis, the subject of a Ridley Scott miniseries and an important thing to think about when accidentally brushing against a sweaty stranger on the subway. It is 100 percent not a laughing matter, and yet there is so much bizarre ephemera oozing from the cracks of mainstream reportage that, well, sometimes you just have to shake your damn head. Here is a small, small sliver of some of the Ebola oddities circulating the internet today.
The most important piece of Ebola-related fashion news today is Cam'ron's Ebola mask, in which you can wear Cam'ron's face on your face so neither of you catch anything, Ebola or otherwise. But where is Mask Cam'ron's mask? That baby pink flip phone is not an effective shield.
Ebola is no joking matter.. So if u have to be safe.. Be fashionable. #CamEbolaMask get'm at @dipsetusa1997 nx week, made by @chinagram www.dipsetUsa.com 😷😷😷
Not one, but two erotic novel cover models (yes, now say it out loud) have self-quarantined after taking the same flight as Amber Vinson, the second Dallas nurse to be diagnosed with Ebola. They've been counseled by a doctor to stay three feet away from their roommates, keep a diary twice daily monitoring their temperatures, and avoid boarding any flights or cruise ships. The two best quotes from the original Daily News story are these:
"The two were unaware they were flying with a soon-to-be diagnosed Ebola patient. Cole took a playful video during the flight showing him poking Goode while he slept."
"Goode first learned about his possible exposure once he was back in Texas and his dad texted him to talk about Ebola."
And speaking of cruise ships:
"Adding another dimension to the search for Americans possibly exposed to the Ebola virus, the State Department said on Friday that a hospital employee who might have had contact with specimens of the disease had left the United States aboard a cruise ship." Not everyone is treating this revelation with gravitas:
Ebola AND a cruise ship? It's like Christmas and Halloween for CNN all rolled into one. http://t.co/yT0gahs2ij
— Michael Roston (@michaelroston) October 17, 2014
I'm sure all will stay calm and enjoy the buffet: Health Worker Who May Have Had Contact With Ebola Is on Cruise Ship http://t.co/I8obN3akSd
— Shashank Bengali (@SBengali) October 17, 2014
As mentioned above, Ebola is now the focal point of a Ridley Scott miniseries, because its never too soon for a miniseries.
Azealia Banks is perplexed as to why Ebola is even a problem in the first place.
And so are some reporters:
A reporter just asked @marieharf why the State Department is not starting an Ice Bucket Challenge for Ebola
— John Hudson (@John_Hudson) October 17, 2014
Especially because there are so many home remedies available online!
The Post offers you its blessing to go as Ebola for Halloween, so you know it must be OK!
I’m jealous of how much these Ebola victims get to travel.
— Jensen Karp (@JensenClan88) October 17, 2014
— Talking Points Memo (@TPM) October 17, 2014
Hiding from Ebola like pic.twitter.com/G3wRqosrwB
— Tyler Reactions (@TylerReactions) October 17, 2014
(With Ben Yakas)