Holy hero: A man has been robbing multiple Subway sandwich shop locations, asking cashiers, "Do you want to die for Subway?" Clearly, they don't. The robber hit the Union Square Subway last Thursday afternoon, then three more in Manhattan on Saturday, two locations on Sunday - one in Manhattan, the other in Fort Green. One manager, when asked by the Daily News why Subways were being robbed, versus Quizno's or Blimpie, manager Narinder Singh said, "Generally, our food is fresh and low in calories." Yeah, that, plus the fact that there are tons of locations. Gothamist thinks it could be a disgruntled employee or consumer. Subway is apparent the number 1 franchise opportunity, according to Entrepreneur magazine. Hmm, Gothamist has only noticed that the Subways around the city vary wildly in quality, but all have that same semi-gross yet intoxicating yeasty smell.

Where is that Jared when you need him? He could take the pants he no longer needs and use them as a netting to catch the robber.