There's a simple solution to everything if you just pray long enough: Fan of Christ Bill Keller was on his knees the other day praying to THE LORD for guidance after learning that "Muslims would be building a $110 million mosque just a few blocks from where their Muslim brothers perpetrated the greatest act of terror on U.S. soil in history." On his website Keller explains, "I knew God was calling me to do something, but what?"

The answer came: Keller will found a "9/11 Christian Center" at Ground Zero as "an ongoing mission to combat this new evil being constructed near Ground Zero, which would bring people the Truth of God's Word and the love and hope of Jesus Christ." Problem solved! And just so you know, Keller doesn't have anything against Muslims. Oh, actually, he does. According to his website, "Islam is a 1400-year-old lie from hell, dreamed up by Mohammed after being visited by angels of satan in his sleep. 'Allah' is an imaginary god that is actually a black rock and is NOT the God of the Bible! Islam has advanced this false religion for 1400 years through violence, hatred, and death."

But wait, isn't the Christian God a rock, too? Or are we mixing that up with Christian rock bands? Religion is so confusing. But at least all this mosque controversy is settled! Those who oppose the mosque no longer have to feel jealous that they don't have a sweet place to pray near the World Trade Center site.

The 9/11 Christian Center is starting out with humble beginnings in a ballroom at the Embassy Suites downtown, then once Keller raises about $8 million, it'll have a permanent home as close to Ground Zero as possible. And then everything will be in place for "a final showdown between Islam and Christianity," Keller promises. "As the two dominant religions on the planet, they will continue to collide as the final days of human history unfold." Finally, our own exciting version of the Temple Mount saga, right here in downtown Manhattan! [Via Politico]