No matter how clever you think your impenetrable drug hiding spot may be, it's got to be pretty ingenious to slip past the U. S. Customs officers, at least according to their most recent self-laudatory press release: "Smugglers of illegal narcotics will try almost anything to get their dangerous drugs into the United States. Fortunately, U. S. Customs and Border Protection Officers at John F. Kennedy International Airport are aware of their concealment methods." So no, the old luggage handle concealment method is not gonna cut it.

According to the CBP, U.S. citizen Warren Hawk was re-entering the country on June 5th following a trip to Guyana when inspectors at JFK noticed that the handle rails on his suitcase were "unusually thick." Hawk was escorted to a private search room, where CBP officers probed one of the rails, "revealing a white powdery substance that tested positive for cocaine. In total, approximately 4.82 lbs. of cocaine was seized with an approximate street value of more than $82,000."

Hawk was arrested and now faces federal narcotics smuggling charges. (Sources say his suitcase agreed to testify against him in exchange for drug court.)

Previously on local airport cocaine arrests: cocaine diapers, cocaine sneakers, cocaine balls and cocaine goat meat.