While most of us passed the polar vortex curled up in our warm offices or standing in the cronut line, 6,669 show-offs leather-skinned mercenaries defied their shrieking nerve endings and mounted Citi Bikes, marking the most sweeping display of indecent behavior since Santacon.

Riding a Citi Bike in subzero temperatures is the pumped up version of those people who insist on running when it's pouring out. You know we have a thing called the subway and that you can take it, right? Yet there they were, zipping around the city with the 40 mph winds slamming against their faces. This guy:

Of course, anything is possible with the proper gear, but the same logic can be applied to walking on the moon. Still, what's a few hours of facial paralysis for a lifetime of smug internet gloating?

Posers? Maybe. But were you wearing shorts?