Everyone's favorite out-of-touch reactionary conservative Dorothy Rabinowitz took another swig from that giant bottle of anti-biking alcohol she keeps hidden under her desk today. The Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist, who previously preached about how Citi Bike has destroyed everything good and beautiful about NYC in two pieces for the Journal, sat down for a lunchtime interview with New York over the weekend to further expand on her belief that bike share is destroying America. But on the bright side, we learned some fun facts about her in the process.

  • Dorothy Rabinowitz Believes In Aliens: “I realized it was like some science-fiction thing,” Ms. Rabinowitz recalled. “The pods have landed, only they've landed with the racks, and they're coming with allies called bicyclists. The activating force behind all of the fury was the racks, instruments of aesthetic torture.”
  • Dorothy Rabinowitz Is Completely Blinded By Her Own Extremist Hypocrisy, So She'll Keep Lecturing You About Wanting To "Do Good" For The World, You Naive, Middle Class Fools!: “I'm talking about the much less recognized world of entitled, middle-class and upper-middle-class riders in the city who think they are serving a noble cause. It's basically their very identity that they are special people, that they're helping the environment, and nobody has ever instilled any notion in them of the necessity of following a traffic rule.”
  • Dorothy Rabinowitz Is An American Hero Standing Up To Bike Share Nazis, Ostensibly Led By Hitler In A Helmet: “People walk up to me and say, 'I'm so glad you said that about the bikes.' I say, 'What the hell are we whispering about? What is this, East Germany?' But it's an instinct, because what can we do about it?
  • Dorothy Rabinowitz Doesn't Believe In Polls That Disagree With What She Believes Because...Did Nazis Use Polls? Let's Assume Nazis Used Polls. So Only A Nazi Would Believe A Poll: "A May poll showed that Citi Bikes are very popular, with 72 percent support. 'I think that's a false poll. Many polls are false, but I think this is one of the falsest. I have a strong feeling that about a year from now many politicians are going to be spending a lot of time distancing themselves from the bike-share program,' she said. 'Wait until January.'"
  • If Someone Can Prove To Dorothy Rabinowitz That More Than One Cyclist In NYC Has Stopped For A Red Light, We Are Allowed To Admit Her To An Asylum: “Unless I was having too much wine after dinner, I actually saw somebody on a bike stop at a red light,” she said. “Once. That may have happened. If it happens more than once, I will submit myself to psychiatric examination on the grounds I'm having a delusion.”