Remember that $26 billion settlement that the DOJ and 49 attorneys general announced on Thursday with some of the country's biggest banks to let toxic mortgage bygones be toxic mortgage bygones? It may not exist yet. In one of the biggest PR coups since that free trip to South Africa, the details of the settlement were peddled via press releases (and awful stock photos) but the document itself has yet to be seen. "Once the documents are finalized, they'll be posted to," a representative from the North Carolina's AG office told American Banker. Aw, c'mon Copperfield, give us back the settlement.

"Sources close to the mortgage servicing pact" tell AB that a settlement term sheet, which is exactly what it sounds like, "does not exist." "It is hard for me to believe that they would have gone public in the way that they did if they didn't have it all worked out," an attorney for the National Consumer Law Center told the outlet. "But it is unusual that we don't have a copy of the settlement yet."

Another source close to the settlement tells us, "Oh here's the settlement term sheet right—LOOK OVER THERE IT'S JEREMY LIN!" And yet another source adds, "The settlement will be available as soon as Brian Moynihan finishes marking up his changes. It's on his nightstand as we speak."