The Times today has one of its periodic check-ins on the rapid gentrification of Harlem and this time they focus on dog shit. Specifically how prevalent it is and how the area's newcomers are, reportedly, not picking their pooches crap up. But the real fun of the story is how the Times and their wonderful standards bend over backwards to avoid using the word shit (which, yes, we didn't use in the hed for SEO purposes—a blog has to eat!).

Over the course of the story author Cara Buckley calls canine crap lots of things besides shit and we thought it'd be fun to put them all in a list. Note that they missed some easy ones, like poo. Anyway, here goes:

  • dog dirt

  • nasty bit of business

  • curb-level scourge

  • renegade dog leavings

  • waste (5) / dog waste (2)

  • stuff (2)

  • poop (2) (not to be confused with pooper-scooper!)

  • what a dog has left behind

  • instances of unlucky steps

  • doggy-do

We especially like dog dirt. As for all that crap on the streets? Longtime locals blame the gentrifiers and their fancy four-legged friends. "I guess it’s the new thing," Eutha Prince, the community board’s district manager, told the paper of record. "More and more you see expensive dogs walking around where you used to see mutts."